It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. –C. S. Lewis
My whole life Christianity has been spoon fed to me literally since I was born. From the time I was old enough to lift my head, I was dedicated as an infant to God in front of my family and our entire church. From then on, it was Vacation Bible School, Mission Friends, Girls in Action, Acteens, Youth Group, (and the list goes on). I went on to attend a private Baptist college and am now working for a religious organization. I have been surrounded by church my entire being. I literally know nothing else. I don’t know how to function without Christianity.
But in the same way, I don’t know how to function WITH Christianity. I have been “programmed”, so to speak, that I am comfortable just lying in my own Christian filth. It disgusts me how contented I have become in my own faith. In keeping with the egg analogy mentioned in the quote above, I am, figuratively speaking, an egg that has been marinating in its own shell for 26 years. Pretty gross huh?
In college I went through the normal, “who am I REALLY?” crisis that every young adult goes through. I questioned everything: my parents, my friends, my boyfriend, my degree choice, (which interestingly enough was Christian Ministries) but most of all, I questioned Christianity as a whole. What makes Christianity the RIGHT religion? Just because I was doused in it my whole life doesn’t make it the RIGHT way of living, does it? Just because my parents believe and their parents believe and their parents before them, what makes Christianity the “right” way? There I was sitting in Christian Ministry classes wondering if I even believed any of it. I rapidly turned away from everything I had been taught to believe. But it wasn’t enough. I had to know for sure WHY I believed it and KNOW that it was truth.
After years of stubbornness and questioning everything I had ever been taught, I gave in, and admitted that God was God. (C. S. Lewis) Even through my selfish denial, my faith was challenged, I questioned God and yes, even ignored that He even existed and He never failed me, not even one.
I know now that I cannot remain as is or I might, in fact, go insane. I must be hatched or go bad.
